Sorrow Mixed with Hope

Sorrow mixed with hope…yeah, that’s pretty much my mood right now.

Welcome to my brain for the next several paragraphs.

My mind is reeling and my heart aches, because yet another young black man, Ahmaud Arbery, was unjustly cut down. Yet another senseless death, yet another mother violently deprived of her son.

Simply because he “fit a description.”

But after 2 months of no action being taken, the two men responsible for it have finally been arrested and charged. That’s reason enough to be hopeful, right?

Yeah, but you’ve seen this movie before. The “justice system” will probably find some justification for his slaughter. He had prior convictions, he was trespassing, he was seen as a threat, he shouldn’t have reacted the way he did.

It is what is, Wayne. It’s just the America that you live in. It’s hard to swallow that this is still reality, and that you yourself “fit a description”. But don’t grow bitter…scripture warns you about that.

And besides, you’re not alone in how you feel. And it’s not just other black people who are calling for justice, either. You’re seeing plenty of white brothers and sisters…many who you know personally…speaking out loudly and showing genuine sympathy and love.

Yeah, that’s actually pretty comforting.

But scroll a few posts down, and you see the exact opposite. Victim blaming, denying that racism still exists, bringing up the issue of black-on-black crime, pointing out that blacks and other minorities can be racist too (a true but situationally irrelevant statement). And, to top it off, there are whole social media groups now dedicated to seeking justice for the perpetrators.

That is definitely hard to stomach and look at, Wayne. Try getting off social media for a little while, okay?

Okay.

But now I’m stuck with my thoughts. And they’re still mixed.

Because for all of the small glimmers of hope I feel, there’s still the reality that I have to live in. And that brings a ton of sorrow.

I wish I could just have all hope and no sorrow…you know what I mean?

And sometimes I wish that following Jesus could guarantee this for me. But I know that’s not reality. At least, not for now.

It is something that He guarantees down the road, though. But down the road seems so far away.

(Sigh).

I find some comfort in knowing that He’s pretty well acquainted with sorrow Himself, though. Yeah, that part helps.

I’ll hang on to that for now.

4 comments

  1. Great post son. It really makes you wonder when African American, especially males, will have to continue living this nightmare.

  2. I do not understand because I am not black nor have I had to live with the same outcomes of racism. I would like to think we are less racist, maybe we are or maybe our approach to guns is just so different in Canada that this casing down and murdering of black males is not as prevalent, I don’t know. My ignorance to the reality in my country or the blessing of being a little further (definitely not far enough) in our fight to stop racisms as a culture in Canada has limited me but your post has exposed me to the thoughts of those who see it in a way I will never full understand and yet I believe I just got a little closer – thank you for a great post

    1. Dave, your response actually means a lot to me, my brother. Thank you for your genuine honesty and sympathy. Truly appreciated!!

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